Monday, January 25, 2010

Osaka tales

The weather today, although gorgeous, is making me miss summer and spring.
Hell, it's even making me miss fall, and the not-as-cold part of winter.
Snow is pretty and all, but dammit, i am tired of extreme layering just to stay alive!

Speaking of fall, i still have some unpublished Japan pictures left.
I better post them before my next trip to Japan, don't you think?
Here's a few shots from the Osaka part of our Osaka/Kyoto trip.
We went there to work at a truly horrible tattoo event and because of that experience, i hope this will be my last trip to Osaka in a really long time.

View from our hotel, a faux castle
I can't believe i actually dressed up for this thing
Ok, so i'm wearing legwarmers, but this is still kind of dressed up
The event took place at a faux American diner, outside there were posters of the organizer of the event, there was even a tv playing a slide-show with artsy photos of him
It opened at 7 pm and closed at 4 in the morning, seriously, and there were no booths or barriers of any kind
American newspaper clippings adorned the walls
Only it wasn't cool clippings, it was really lame ones like this, because the people who decorated this place obviously had no idea what they said
Allan's client was sweet, she even started crying when Allan gave her a print when he was done with her tattoo
Mukku was mortified at the total lack of proper hygiene and common sense, and so was i
Hata had tons of fun too, as you can see

That may not look like such a bad night to you all, but believe me, it was.
I was feeling like crap that night, and that never helps.
And we didn't really wanna go to this event in the first place.
Having been to a few of these "tattoo events" in the past, we knew what to expect (i was a little disappointed that the event didn't include poledancers this time, but at least cat eared girl was there) and we also knew that this one was possibly going to be a little worse.
We also didn't wanna spend a fortune on the Shinkansen, so you could say we were set against it from the start.

They started out by playing this uhm... i'm gonna assume it was music, for about two hours.
I was, as often before, saved by my earplugs.
Even Allan thought it was extremely loud and hysterical, and that's saying something.
Then people started drinking.
They got very drunk.
At one point this super annoying dude started getting naked right next to me, which i was sort of ok with until kept trying to to a) sit next to me, b) sit on my stuff and finally c) bump into Allan while he was working (something that always turns me into a tiny Danish she-hulk).
So obviously i got into kind of an argument, only not really since he was completely wasted and didn't understand a word i was yelling.
But words were being yelled and gestures were made.
Allan told me later that Rei and Hata were watching me like little meerkats, ready to jump over and save me should the situation get out of control.
They're so cute.

Now, i'm no prude and i've been to my fair share of parties, so drunk people, however annoying, don't bother me that much.
I'm also more than a little used to conventions by now, and i know that they aren't always as clean as they could be.
So when i say that even the most well organized, internationally acclaimed convention can gross me out occasionally, you can imagine what a tiny event full of drunks and skanks, organized by a narcissistic douchebag in leopard trimmed jeans, would do to me.
At a normal convention i'll try not to touch anything, and i sanitize like nobody's business.
But here... i literally couldn't touch anything!
Even accidentally leaning against a wall sent chills down my spine.
I don't wanna get into the disgusting details, but trust me, i had my reasons.

I believe it was three in the morning when we finally made our escape, vowing never to return to Osaka again.
Ok, maybe someday, but not for anymore friggin events.
There were some good things about the Osaka trip though.
Here are a few.

The shinkansen ekiben
The sweet potato Kit Kats... divine
Not staying at the "capsule" floor of the hotel, definitely a good thing
This... seeing this and not having time to eat it was a bit like discovering that unicorns are real, but for some reason you're not allowed to ride them across the rainbow
The really fancy dinner Rei took us out to
The tiny piece of crème brûllée heaven
The monkey construction barriers, awesome
Old school candy stores in sketchy areas, also awesome

That turned out to be a long one, huh?


  1. That place just screams filthy! I can understand your pain. I once worked a convention in a barn. We're talking flies and horse manure right outside. Although, I think tattooing in a bar might be worse.

  2. Sweet potato Kit Kats? Now I have to try that one day!

  3. Ikke alt langt er dårligt!

    Den der lille Mukku ven er røv cool! Nasty tattoo joints? Not so much!

    Håndsprit-love fra din fellow bakterie hater

  4. i've worked a tattoo convention like that (if u can call it a convention).....posters of the organiser everywhere, wearing barely any clothes, the PA constantly talking bout how awesome he is, and every award has engravings of him on them.

  5. Just goes to show, you can make anything super cool by simply making it look like a Monkey! Even construction barriers. :)

  6. What was the pink heart foody thingy? it looks amazingly beautiful!!! I want a bite :) hehehehehe

    Oh and the tiny danish hulk almost made me pee my pants, I laughed so hard.

  7. Jessica, i think yours win!
    You can't beat flies and poop for grossness.
    But this was filthy indeed.

    cerealjoe, only in Japan!
    I wish i'd brought home a million...

    Helle, håndsprit high five!

    Julia, yep, people like that amaze me. And not in a good way.

    MinusAll, it's a scientific fact: everything is more awesome when dressed or shaped like a monkey!

    Tanya, i can't even remember!
    There were so many tiny, amazing dishes, it was overwhelming.
    And so un-Japanese too.
    But everything tasted so good, that i remember!

  8. Hvor er det skørt med alt det sweet potato-stuff. Det må jeg smage en gang!