Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Get happy

That picture?
I wish that was me today, but i'm afraid i'm pretty far from that level of happy at the moment.
Maybe it's still the stress of moving that's affecting me, or maybe it's the winter like weather we've been having, but i am just... stuck.
Every day feels like trying to dig my way out of a deep hole and find something to live for.
I'm sure most of you know exactly what i'm talking about.

Things are good, though.
I shouldn't complain.
On Sunday we finally finished the last room in our apartment, just in time for another friend to move in and call it her temporary home.
Unfortunately getting the room ready meant clearing out something like 20 kg of wood, dust, rocks and rubble from the basement, just so we had a place to put our stuff.
It took a while, and we probably have some kind of lung cancer brewing, but at least we got it done, and it feels great to only have minor projects left.

Ok, enough writing, i have homework to do, and a dog to walk.
I think i just needed to accomplish something today.
Even the smallest thing, like posting on my blog, just so i don't feel like a massive loser.

Here are some pictures from our housewarming party a little over a week ago, and some randoms from the days up to and after.
The nicer photos are taken by my amazing friend Wendy, who by the way has an awesome blog that you should read... just sayin.

I'll be back soon, probably with some more Hawaii pictures, since that appears to be the only way to get some damn sun around here!

Apart from a few minor details, the living room is done

Damn right i wore Buffalo's to our housewarming party


Wendy and Randy made an awesome photo wall

Perfect for portraits 

And group photos

My room

Buying flowers for the balcony

Before planting

And after... i love the evening light here

Added this to my questionable crop top collection... gotta love Primark

Last week we finally got the locks changed so we could use our actual front door, and have more than one set of keys

Damn fine cocktail at Industry Standard

Housewarming presents 

More like "spirit of overpriced cacti"

Coming home late, i sometimes have the station all to myself

Reading in the living room is pretty great

Rough morning and glitter nails

Monday, March 23, 2015

No cacti, no palm trees


New neighborhood, new street, new dog walking routes, new supermarket to shop in, new habits, new ubahn station... new photo guy?

I shot a little under two films when i was in Maui, and earlier this week, i walked up the street from my house, and went into the first photo store i ran into, to get them developed.
It was run by a couple of older dudes, and it smelled like cigars, but you gotta start somewhere, right?
Saturday i got my pictures back, and they did a good job, and it even cost a little less than in Schöneberg.
So here's the first of a couple of analog posts from beautiful, sunny Maui.
They're mostly from in and around Paia, and from a day trip with Tali and Justin to Twin Falls.

It's a nice, sunny day in Berlin, but it's still so damn cold that i almost can't remember what summer and heat feels like.
But it's starting to smell like spring... you know that smell. 
It's magical, isn't it?

Today i wanted to buy a cactus, and ended up walking for about an hour without finding a single one.
I love my new neighborhood, but it has a serious lack of florists!

Friday, March 20, 2015

White walls

Well shit, it's been a while, hasn't it?
But as you can probably imagine, a lot has happened since my last post.
A lot.
I've been living in my new home for two weeks now.
I can't believe it's been this long already, but looking around at all the progress we've made, it's actually kind of hard to believe it hasn't been longer.
I guess that's what happens when two people suffering from mild OCD move in together... shit gets taken care of!

The first four, five, six, days, we didn't rest. Or eat. Or sleep much.
We just unpacked, decorated, built.
And then Lucifer moved in. 
And my parents arrived, to help us with things like putting up lamps, and to provide some much needed moral support.
I had bags under my eyes and a face full of stress acne.
Not a pretty sight, but i didn't leave the house much anyway.

They were really hard, those first days, and i kinda crashed emotionally when they were over.
I guess finally feeling safe, after the year i've had, was almost too much.
Some days i was so sad, and i didn't understand why, and i felt so guilty about feeling sad, when i should be happy.
It's hard to explain, but i think that up until this point, i've kind of been in survival mode.
Burying my feelings with a promise to deal with them at a later time, but maybe i never did.
Maybe i forgot to deal.
And suddenly it felt like cheating ex'es, other women, lost dreams, and haunted houses finally caught up with me, and it happened at a time when i was already so damn stressed from packing, moving and studying all at once.
I'll admit i was scared of having a full on breakdown, but it never happened, and at this point, i feel ok.
Happy even.

And let me tell you, our new home?
It's beautiful.
It's the most amazing apartment i've ever lived in, and i've been more or less obsessed with decorating it just right.
And although that's the fun part, it's actually been pretty difficult.
A lot of the things i thought i was gonna put in my room didn't fit, and some of them all of a sudden reminded me too much of my old life.
I wanted something fresh and new, and i wanted to find out what my personal decorating style really was, which is surprisingly hard after 12 years of compromising with another person.
I really had no clue, so with my room, i took it really slow and tried to trust my instinct and let the room tell me what it wanted to be.
God, that sounded stupid!
Anyway, with the kitchen and living room, i wanted it to be very simple, but cozy at the same time, so both me and Wendy would feel at home.
It's a challenge, decorating a new home with the exact same things that was in the previous home, and still making it look completely different, but i think we pulled it off!

So this is life at the moment.
Decorating, waiting for internet people and locksmiths, spending lots of money on deposits and moving companies, hanging shelves and paintings, and trying to not get overwhelmed by it all.
And to keep myself sane, i started eating healthy and working out again.

That's it for me for now, but i promise i'll get back to regular posting in no time.
Until then, here are bits and pieces of the last two weeks in pictures.

Day one, or two maybe... just boxes and a bed

After the movers left on the first day, we went looking for coffee and found a nice vegan cafe... that cake though

Before i really started working on my room

Our bathroom is kinda weird and narrow, but pretty

Borrowing a power drill and hanging out with Box

Coffee with some of my favorite people on the way to Schöneberg to pick up Lucifer

Kitchen wall... same, same but different

Kimono selfie in the middle of my random piles of stuff

My two roomies 

The living room a few days ago... it looks even better today

Walking the dog and getting to know the new neighborhood, which is lively and slightly sketchy, but awesome

Brunch at Carly's with the gang (photo stolen from Jessica)

Just delicious

Mom and dad

Breakfast before my parents went back to Denmark

Silo coffee before going to the flea market, where we didn't find what we were looking for

Lucifer is now a shared custody dog of divorce, and he is currently with his dad, so i miss him tons, but i think the arrangement is gonna work out fine (photo stolen from Carly)

My parents are great decorators

Morning light and healed tattoo

One of the best nights in a long time included these two, a giant pizza and a mini Tom Cruise-athon

He goes everywhere with me

Even to Japanese class, that sometimes looks more like German class, if you ask me

I buy the dumbest shit at Primark

Walls, room, stuff. Home.