Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Out come the wolves

I think this might be the last of them.
The last analog post from Mexico City.
Unless the missing film ever turns up, but let's face it, not a big chance of that happening.
So this is it.

I wish it was from a better day.
I mean, the day itself was fine, but he was... him.
We went to Chapultepec Zoo, which was super close to the house.
As always, i was just stoked to be seeing things, anything, and to be spending time with him, but as usual, he was barely there.
We'd see something funny or interesting, and the next second he'd be taking pictures of it and sending them to his friends, his manager, and of course his other girlfriend, not really caring if i saw it or not, because deny, deny, lie, lie, lie.
Getting caught didn't matter to him, because i didn't matter.

The last picture, i remember that moment so well.
Sitting on a bench, surrounded by couples in love enjoying a romantic afternoon at the park, and then us...
Me, desperate for his affection, and him, on his phone and in another world.
Never in the moment and never really with me.

I should be happy that nightmare is over, and i'm fully aware that he wasn't worth it, but i still miss it sometimes. Being in love.
My life is awesome now, and he never deserved to be part of it in the first place, but it's still a lonely road.

Today i went for coffee with my friends, and bought a 2 € t-shirt at Monki.
Then i hurried back home to pick up my notes and my dog and headed to Japanese class.
Yes, i brought Lucifer to class, and he was well liked by my sensei.

I'm still sick, but it's getting better, and i already can't wait to go dancing with my girls this weekend.
I need the release.


  1. Oh my god, when you went to the zoo did you see stands of raw(?) horse meat covered in chile for sale? I just had a flashback to that when I saw your "si hay cigarros" picture.

    It must be so confusing having such amazing and shitty memories all rolled into one thing. Blah.

    1. Lol, no, i didn't see that!! But i'm not surprised... actually it probably tastes pretty good i imagine!

      And yeah, it's weird. I still have conflicting feelings about the whole experience. I want it to be a part of me, and at the same time i wanna forget it ever happened.
      But it's getting easier with time.