Thursday, November 21, 2013

Trying to change, always

Have you ever felt like you're in a time or phase of your life where you might be able to really transform, or evolve, if you were only open to it?
It's weird when it happens, and it sometimes seem to be triggered by the strangest things.
Well, i think i'm in one of those phases at the moment, and it's causing a lot of thoughts and feelings, which can easily trigger a lot of anxiety, which i obviously hate, but i still feel like it's a good thing.

A couple of days ago i watched this documentary, and even though i've been wanting to be a healthier person for a long time, watching this movie was for some reason a turning point... which is odd, cause it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know, and in the beginning i didn't find it particularly well made.
Like i said, the strangest triggers.
It did grow on me, though, and i'd recommend it to any documentary lover.

Anyway, i've been thinking a lot about how to be more aware of what i eat, and the impact it has on the planet.
I know i'm at least trying to do my part by being a vegetarian, and i do feel good about that, but shit, the planet is in trouble, and millions of unique, sentient beings, some smarter than my dog, are being tortured and treated as mere products every day. Not only that, but the production of all that meat, is literally killing the earth.
And if everyone just ate less meat, we might actually be able to save it.
It seems so simple when you think of it like that.
But most people just choose not to see it, as i myself did for years, because if they did see, they'd have to change their lives, and it's hard, and most people just don't want to. I get that.
Changing your eating habits, as well as just being more environmentally conscious, is an inconvenience, and it's easier to just ignore that fact that we're all a part of the problem, just by the way we live our modern lives, than it is to take some form of action.

As an animal lover, thinking of how common and accepted animal cruelty really is has always made me sick, but sometimes it still takes a little something extra, like reading a book or watching a movie, to really get you to change the way you live, you know?
No, i'm not going vegan just yet, but i'm definitely gonna try to eat less dairy and eggs now that i can't stop thinking about how many lives are wasted just so i can eat cheese (delicious cheese).

Anyway, the urge to eat better, and more plant-based, is only part of what i'm going through at the moment, but it comes in little glimpses, and it's like i only see fragments of who i need to be, and what i need to be doing. I guess it'd be too much to ask to see the bigger picture all at once!
This movie, and this one, also really did a number on me, by the way, and prompted me to order a bunch of books on various subjects.
I need to watch less TV and read more books this winter!

Sorry for my naive ranting (although not really sorry, because hey, Amalie's blog here, and if i wanna write like i'm an angsty teen and this is my diary, this is the place to do it!), but i think i need to write more about how i'm feeling in general, and well, this is what's on my mind today.

And although i'm sure this post isn't telling you anything you didn't already know, i'm realizing that being a vegetarian and an animal lover is a huge part of who i am, and i should share my thoughts and feelings about that on the blog, my blog, which is about my life, once in a while.
I've been a vegetarian for years now, and all of a sudden it strikes me as odd that i never write about it.
It probably has to do with not wanting to be labeled "preachy", but whatever... that pretty much happens every time you express an opinion that makes others question their choices anyway.

Anyway, rant over, here are some random iPhone pictures!

 Buts at the BioMarkt

My baking table setup has made baking bread so much easier

I wore this to see Arcade Fire two days ago because the show had a "formal wear or costume" dress code, but boy was i disappointed with Berlin's attempts to dress up... i was expecting everyone to go all out, but most of the people there looked like they'd never dressed up for anything before in their lives!

We're coming up on the last batch of carrots of the season... that short, fat one is my biggest yet!

Coffee sightseeing in Kreuzberg

Very small, very hip

The story of the cactus that keeps dying, and the desperate owner who keeps trying to save it

Shopping for Vietnamese food with Wendy and Wendy last week

Lovely fake flower shop

Last week we bought a new rug, it is well liked by both humans and dog


  1. i've been vegetarian for a few years, and vegan for about a year and i find myself spending so much time trying to not talk about it so people won't call me "preachy." which sucks because it is really important to me too.
    I really like your new rug. I'm on the lookout for one for our living room, but haven't been able to find something I like.

    1. It does suck, cause having to censor yourself just so meat eaters won't be offended doesn't feel good, and it kills good conversation too (and why even be offended, cause someone has different views and eating habits that yourself?).
      I think people who eat meat without acknowledging where it comes from should be more open to debate in general, but most people just don't care much i guess.

      I found the rug at ikea. It reminds me of one i found in Japan last year that was perfect, but my husband didn't want me to buy. I'm still regretting not buying it!

      Thanks a lot for your comment, it made me feel less isolated in my views :)

  2. Great post! Something I feel so strongly about. I too have been trying to cut down dairy but I'm not going to lie I find it tough. Something's you can't even tell are dairy free like butter but I struggle with other stuff.
    If you come across any good recipes I'd love to see them if you wanted to share. I need to change my eating habits desperately. I've gained so much weight and when my anxiety is high I think that's when I'm even worse. I need that transformation :-(

    1. Thank you! :)
      I felt a bit silly writing it, but i'm trying not to censor myself, or be too hard on myself for not always writing what people want me to.
      I never really use recipes, to be honest, although i'm looking to buy some vegan cookbooks soon for inspiration.
      A trick that works for me is to just buy a whole lot of fresh vegetables when i grocery shop, cause then i'm forced to use those ingredients, cause i don't like throwing out food.
      The other day i bought some savoy cabbage, and so far i've used it in two stir fries, and today i made pesto of it.
      And i've stopped snaking, even on weekends (except for a bit of chocolate last night). That helps too!