Thursday, March 29, 2012

Trying my best to love you

After three incredibly shitty days, i'm finally starting to feel like the fog is lifting.
Talking shit through with a professional can really help, and i while i'm still irritable and impatient, i'm definitely feeling less sad. Sad sucks.
Denmark sucks too. It's a weird thing to say when spring is here and things are just starting to get good again, but lately (and no, it's not a new thing, it just comes in waves) i'm just feeling like i don't belong.
I don't like Danes in general, and most of the time i feel like an expat who just happen to have been born here. If it wasn't for the fact that we've worked so damn hard on getting our shop to where it is now, i'm not sure i'd stay. But the shop is so perfect, and i love it so much, so we'd be foolish to just leave something that good and special behind. So for now, this is home, still.

The day before yesterday i asked Allan if he realized we're going to Japan next week and he hadn't realized that at all. As the words came out of my mouth, i even surprised myself a bit!
Not having travel anxiety anymore is a big deal for me. I've had to work hard to get here too, and it's nice to feel the reward in such a real way. The fact that i hadn't even noticed i'm leaving for a month next week is a such a huge change, i can't even describe it.
A month in Japan will do us good too, and hopefully, the changes we've been trying to make in our lives here in Copenhagen, will be a little closer to coming true once we get back. Like for instance, finding an apartment before i completely lose my mind for reals. Stuff like that.

Here are some March photographs from around town, mostly Nørrebro and Vesterbro, in no particular order. Oh, and a few of my nephew too.
As usual, Canon AE-1 and that film i can't remember the name of.

The worlds cutest dog and his shadow

 I do, van on Nørrebro, i swear i do!

 Yellow Amalie

 The bluest skies on Vesterbro

Perfect little reflections

 I was wearing suspenders too that day!

 Dronning Louise's bridge from the city side


 On the way to work, a sight that should be pretty familiar to all of my readers by now!

 Fuck yeah

 From about three weeks ago when we visited my brother and his family

 I finally got to give Gilbert this Pooh bear, and a bunch of other stuff, i got for him in Japan in February

 The cutest little nephew guy ever

Freshly planted flowers in front of the shop

 Ok, ok, and a swan... apparently i can't have one roll of film without swans!

I know most of my readers are European and American, but i thought i'd give this a try anyway.
Last time i was in Tokyo, i looked into taking some language courses, but usually the schools there will offer three month or six month courses, which won't do me much good since i'm only there for a month.
So what i wanted to say with this is: if you're a reader of this blog who happen to know, or have heard of, anyone who gives private Japanese lessons in Tokyo, could you please let me know?
Me and Allan would be interested in lessons about twice a week in April/early May, and it could either be in our home in Kōenji , or somewhere preferably on the Chūō or Yamanote line, not too terribly far from Shinjuku. You can reach me at conspiracyinctattoo (at)


  1. Awesome photos!! And that shirt in the "yellow" photo is the best shirt I have ever seen.

  2. I'll see if i can score one for you when i'm back in Japan, if they have more! You're a small, right?

  3.  I'm probably a medium. If you do I'll send you a super rad shirt back! That's exciting.

  4. I can totally agree with your sentiment about an expat thing, and I'm well aware that this feeling will never go away.  What bothers me the most about it is that I will never know what to do with this nagging feeling for the rest of my life.  It's kind of depressing.  But anyway, are you looking for a Japanese Japanese teacher?  Does s/he have to be professional?

  5. I'll see what i can do!

  6.  I know you understand, probably better than most people. It's hard, and we will probably always feel like we're supposed to be somewhere else. Who knows, maybe someday we'll find it?
    Doesn't have to be Japanese, doesn't even have to be a teacher, just looking for someone who comes recommended by someone, and who's fluent in Japanese. Got anyone in mind?

  7. Oh..yes I know that feeling about asking question: "what I am doing? and why I am still living in this strange country with all these Vikings who starts talking only when they are drunk"...but there comes another day and it looks better than that one before. So don't be sad you are not the only one who struggles here and vacations always good to refresh mind. ;)