Friday, December 16, 2011

Remembering the positive

I just came home* from my third session with the new therapist.
I'm exhausted and sweaty; not because of the session, but because i'm sick, but apart from the physical condition i happen to be in, i feel great.
I feel that sweet relief that you can only feel when you've had a burden lifted, and learned something new at the same time.
I feel positive and i feel happy.

It's funny, but sometimes, some of the things my first therapist told me didn't really sink in until i read it in a book later and got one of those "aha! truth!" moments, and sometimes it was the other way around.
Today, some of the things i've read in books were put into other words and spoken to me in a way that somehow made more sense.
I gotta make space for the anxiety. I gotta be big and spacious enough for it to live inside of me comfortably.
I'm not gonna fight it, or cure myself, take control or get over it.
I'm gonna live with the fear, in harmony, cause the feelings that cause my anxiety are the same feelings that make me special, that make me empathic and creative, that make me me.
Next time i get anxious i'm gonna try and invite it in and coexist instead of trying to fight it.

I've been reading about these techniques in various books and they do work.
I'm gonna do that anxiety book and exercise post i promised a few you who are in the same boat real soon.

I made this for Lucifer the other day... don't tell me he's not the cutest little Starfleet officer you've ever seen

You know how i usually love twitter?
Not so much today. 
So much whining and bitching and complaining. Petty feelings coming in from all corners of the earth.
I was actually considering taking a little break for a day or so. Not that i expect people to somehow get less whiny or anything like that. I know that's not likely to happen.
I did, however enjoy finding a bunch of links to good articles and videos about Christopher Hitchens.
Of course they were brought on by the sad fact that he'd passed away, but i enjoyed the articles anyway.... and the videos of him wiping the floor with Tony Blair. Those are always amusing.
Anyway, i disagreed with him on a number of issues, but i really admired him and a person and a writer, and "God is not Great" is one of those books i'm gonna go back and read more than once.
And i look forward to reading "Hitch-22". As soon as i'm done obsessing over dancing dragons, that is!

*Actually it's been, like, over and hour because Helle called.


  1. Wow, I guess I've never seen the anxiety thing in that light before. It makes total sense. Why did none of us realise this before?!

  2. Your sentiment about letting the anxiety in is really amazing and seems so simple, but I've never thought of it like that. I'm glad you're having success with your treatment and work on yourself.  Just today I re-started my exercise program. I had stopped about a month ago after getting a tattoo in the elbow and couldn't do my usual work out.

    Reading your blog & following you instagram feed tends to lift my spirit for some reason. Thanks <3 (instagram LooseLipsSinkShips)

  3. Heldigt at jeg slet ikke bitchede! Erhm..

  4. Looking forward for mor anxiety stuff:) I'm reading (second time in row actually) "Self-help for your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weeks, have you seen this one? She says the same thing: don't fight it, accept it as a part of your life and it will go away by itself. By fighting it you are making it worse. This statement is so helpful. For example - I try to be a writer but since my nervous break down in April I wasn't able to write without getting very anxious. The fear was just overcoming me so much that even thinking about writing made me feel sick. I could manage some blog entry, but that was it, no way I could write fiction or spend with a pen more then half an hour. Claire Weeks said that there is nothing stopping us from doing what we like - we are the same persons as we were before the crisis, so we just carry on, knowing that anxiety is just a temporary state of our nerves (not something permanent or deeprooted) and even when it comes, we aknowledge it but still keep doing what we do. I try it and it works - I can write again. Not as much as I used to, but the anxiety is very mild and sometimes I'm forgetting about it completely, getting  submerged in the creative process.

    So there is a way out. The secret is not to try to find it, but to let it go and it finds itself:)

    Keep writing this stuff, it's very uplifting and inspiring.

  5. Very inspiring. Good luck with your plans doll x

  6. You go girl! What a lovely inspirational post! x

  7. No, haven't read that one, sounds interesting though.
    Sorry about your writing block (not to be confused with writer's block, eh?), sounds scary as hell. I'm glad to hear you're getting back into it though. Blogs are good for stuff like that too; less pressure and all that.
    I guess i've been really lucky in a way cause i only rarely experience anxiety at my shop. In fact, it's one of my "safe places", if any suck thing exists.