Friday, July 11, 2008


It's been a week or so since we watched it, but we were just talking about it today.
Southland Tales.
The second film from the guy who did Donnie Darko, a movie that pretty much everyone loved.
I'd read the reviews, even from before he re-edited the whole thing and i knew it was gonna be crap. I mean, some of the worst actors on the planet are in it.* The Rock is in it. Bai Ling is in it. It couldn't be good.
But me, Allan and Nick decided to rent it anyway. For fun. Sometimes watching bad movies are fun.
Not so in this case.
After 58 minutes we started checking how much time was left. We lasted about five minutes after that. Then we had to stop it. We were too embarrassed for everyone involved to watch any more of it.
I almost never stop in the middle of a movie, but if i'd had to watch The Rock do that retarded thing with his hands just one more time i would have killed myself.
I cannot stress enough how much you don't need to waste your precious life on this joke of a movie.

Which brings me to another movie we talked about today, that you don't need to waste your time on (though chances are that you already did):
Sweeney Todd.
What a huge disappointment that was.
How dare they even call it a musical? That would imply that it contained music!
It does not, just lots of horrible, monotonous, shrieky sounds. And also bad acting.
How people could enjoy that piece of crap is beyond me.
Note to everyone: just cause Johnny Depp is in it, doesn't make it good! Pirates 3? Anyone?

Enough with the hate, i'm gonna go read for a bit.

Update: I talked to Nick who felt that i was a lot harder on Sweeney Todd than i was on Southland Tales. That was unintentional.
I'd like to make it clear that Southland Tales is, by far, the worse of the two.
The worst i've seen in many years (that's counting made for TV movies) and i didn't even watch half of it.
But Sweeney Todd was a much bigger disappointment to me.
It was hyped and most critics seemed to like it. Because of that i actually expected something good, not necessarily great, but at least good.
Unlike Southland Tales, which i knew was gonna suck (again, i had hoped it would be in a good way.)
Nick, i hope that clears it up!

*I do love Buffy, and every single person who ever appeared in an episode, but SMG's no Katharine Hepburn.


  1. Awww! I really enjoyed Sweeney Todd...

    I will definitely be avoiding Southland Tales, though. Is it not even "bad in a good way"? Like, so terrible it becomes funny, or charming, or quirky?

  2. Nope, none of the above.
    It's just really awkward and confusing.
    And this is coming from a person who has seen Showgirls more than five times...

  3. I tried to watch Sweeney Todd, after 10 min I couldn't stand it anymore and I turned it off. I downloaded Southland Tales but I never watched so from the bottom of my heart... Thank you for the advice not to waiste my time on it!

  4. You're very welcome, there are too many good movies out there for people to spend their precious time on crap like this!