Monday, August 31, 2015

That girl

Ok, so i didn't post the next day, but almost!
Still playing catch-up, so none of this is particularly current, and all of it is random, but that's ok.
I'll get to more present day events eventually.

From the iPhone journal, written after talking to some of my best friends about some of our shittier past relationships:

When you meet them you're the fun girl. Crazy. Charismatic. Confident.
That's what they fall for.
But years of their flirting and cheating makes you introverted and insecure.
Turns you into someone else.
They make you feel crazy, they try to make you believe it's all in your head.
"You're just making shit up, you're seeing things that aren't there... nothing is going on".
Then comes the guilt and self-loathing.
They start to resent you for not being the person you used to be, when in fact, they made you what you are.
This new jealous, insecure person didn't just happen, she was made.
"What happened to the fun loving, carefree girl i fell in love with?", they'll ask.
You killed her.

These photos are from sometime in June, i think?
They happened because a photographer i knew from instagram asked if he could take some pictures of me, and i said yes.
Not because i thought i'd be good at it, i knew i wouldn't be, but because i almost always do.
Say yes to things, that is.
Especially the things that used to scare me.

Go check out the photography of Philip C Keith.
Rad work by a rad dude.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Another self

Is it self promotion or self sabotage if i post something that a lot of people are supposed to see, on a Friday afternoon, a day famous for its low internet activity?
Yeah ok, so that's a typical me-move, but i just got home to Berlin after a week in Denmark, and if i don't post something now, i'm afraid i'm gonna take another accidental blog-hiatus!

I do have other stuff lined up, you know.
Drafts, photos, all that stuff.
All the feelings, all the journals.
Personal stuff.
But about a month ago i got to a point where i suddenly became afraid of getting a little too emo.
I just don't wanna look like i'm unhappy or constantly sitting at home wallowing in self pity, you know?
Although that does happen, i won't deny it, i am for the most part a pretty damn positive person, bordering on funny and definitely fun-loving, and i just got a little paranoid that maybe that wasn't coming across here on the blog.
But this is the internet, not real life.
This isn't supposed to be me, not really.
It's a version, and that version is also what i am.
I am full of fears and doubts, and if i didn't have a forum for that side of me, this forum, i'd probably be pretty fucking mentally unhealthy.

So yeah, back to normal, back to oversharing, back to posting without a filter.
More self promotion, less self doubt!
So here goes, that pesky self promotional stuff that i love so much... ha.

So i made some prints of one of my paintings!
Not many, and just one painting to start with, but hopefully once this sells out i'll be able to make some more, and maybe one day have an etsy store that's fully stocked with prints of my art work.
That's the dream anyway!

So if you want to check them out, or maybe even buy one, go to my Classic Flora etsy store!
The vintage clothes is still for sale over in the Berlin Vintage Company store, so maybe go check that out too while you're in etsy land anyway.

Ok, that was it, not too painful, really!
I'll be back tomorrow with a real post, full of real writing and real realness.
For real.

A little larger than A4 but smaller than the original

So pleased with the quality!

The first print already made it to its new home, and seeing this on instagram totally made my day