Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Future nostalgia

Today is the day that my second Wendy returns to Berlin.
It's a special day, not only because she's been missed, but because i feel that her finally coming back will somehow bring us closer to living in our new home.
The painters are probably there right now, working on it, and i desperately wanna go there and help them... or bring them lots of coffee and pizza to help speed up the process!

I may have started looking for apartments in August, but i've been homeless for a year.
I have a roof over my head, and i get to take a shower every morning, and i'm grateful for that, but as far as i'm concerned, this isn't my home anymore.
I'm just some squatter with one foot out the door.
Someone who tries their best to be invisible, as to not bother the couple that lives downstairs.
I'm a rat in the attic of someone else's house.

I started packing months ago, so it doesn't even look like a home anymore.
Just kinda creepy and bare, a shadow of the cozy nest that it used to be.
It's crazy to think that i worked on this place for a year, ruined my shoulders and wrists painting and carrying furniture and boxes much too heavy for my relatively small frame.
And now, i can't wait to get out of here.
I feel like i should feel something for this place, considering that this was my dream house, and it used to make me so happy to just think about the fact that i lived here, but nope... nothing.
The only thing i'm nostalgic for is what's to come.
Decorating, having friends over for movie and paint nights, drinking coffee on the balcony, getting visits from my parents again, studying Japanese in my room.
Basically just... having a home.

The only area of the apartment, besides the kitchen, that still vaguely resembles a home, the rest has been in boxes for months

Me and Mandy cuddling up to pimp mama Shannon

That day we tried to have breakfast at Roamers, but they were full, and we ended up at Tischendorf instead

In Japanese class we recently started on Kanji, and sometimes the homework is so hard it makes me wanna rip my hair out and throw things, but then i get to class, and it's so fun and so challenging, it's totally worth the frustration

Very small painting based on an old pencil drawing

Last week after Japanese class i went to Heno Heno by myself and had a delicious and cheap yasai don for dinner

When you're so hungover that you wanna die, but somehow manage to drag your sorry ass to the pizza place, and you come home and your pizza is like "there, there, i love you too"

Another Mexico sketch that became a painting

I got a bag of new old clothes from my friends that are moving, and i'm particularly stoked on this epic hoodie

Why i was hungover on Sunday...

Uhm, and this... blurry but you get the idea!


  1. <3
    Its weird. I don't know you, but nevertheless I feel for you so much, that I felt sick while reading this, as if we we're old friends.

    1. Aww, you're such a sweet person :)
      Don't feel bad though, february will fly by quick and soon i'll be blogging about decorating a new apartment on a minimal budget!

    2. Woooohooo!! Looking forward. And this Hamburg plan too...

  2. Part of this post broke my heart, but mostly it reminded me why I've found inspiration in this blog (aside from your gorgeous analogue images, Japan, travels, art, interiors & all the yummiest fooooods). You've been incredible, personal, strong, inspiring. I don't actually know you but I find myself rooting for your happiness xx

    1. Thank you so much. I don't even know what to say, comment like this one just make me so happy :)

  3. Come on February! Love you Amalie.