Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Driving through Mexico City at one in the morning, blasting loud music, it's hard not to live in the moment. It's hard not to think that maybe this is it. Maybe there's nothing else?

I wrote this a few weeks into my trip, while i was unable to blog, but still needed to write and remember.
It's written over some time on my phone, so i apologize if it's not the most eloquent writing.
But i guess you're not used to that anyway, being a reader of this messy blog!
So here you go, another part of my travel journal...

"I guess it's about time I explained how i ended up in Mexico...

I haven't been very open about my personal life since the breakup.
I wrote that one post, which didn't really reveal much, and it's been hard to find the right balance since then.
Divorce can get messy, and i've tried my best to not involve anyone but my closest friends in the details. 
A lot of people had a hard time seeing me and my husband as two separate individuals, and there's been lots of awkward moments with people who think we're still together, or just temporarily separated, and i still sometimes get emails and comments from well meaning people saying "aaww, i hope you're ok", but the truth is that even though we're still legally married, it's very much over and has been for a long time.
He's been in a relationship for pretty much the entire time we've been broken up, and while it may have taken me a bit longer to move on, i did eventually meet someone.
See where this is going? 
A Mexican someone, yes. 

I was alone for a long time, but then i met this guy, and at least partially thanks to him, and of course my amazing friends, i had the best summer... ever? 
I can't remember having this much fun in a long time, probably not since i was a kid, wearing baggy pants, going to raves, or getting into trouble with my friends.

It was fun, but as with any relationship, there was frustration too, of course, but it was the kind of relationship i needed after all these years; unpredictable, irrational, occasionally dramatic.
Part of the frustration was the fact that he didn't live in Berlin, and although he kept extending his stay, we always had an expiration date, a "temporary" label that was hard to ignore. 
It was something that made it impossible to fully commit to being an actual couple, even though we both may have wanted to at the time.

When he eventually left, i assumed that was it. 
But we kept talking every day, and he kept asking me to visit and even though it was just a shared fantasy, i still started saving up, selling my stuff, reading about Mexico, and quietly planning. 
I didn't know if the trip was ever gonna happen, but my living situation was almost unbearable, and apartment hunting seemed futile, so i needed something to look forward to, even a fictitious something that might never happen. And for the longest time, i thought it wouldn't.
But one day i'd finally saved enough money to actually buy the ticket, and so i did. 

Buying that ticket is one of the scariest things i've ever done, and the whole process ended up taking days, but something told me it was supposed to happen. 
I'd always wanted to go to Mexico City, and all of a sudden i had a reason, a place to stay, and someone to show me the city i'd been dreaming about for so long. 
So that's how i ended up here, in this crazy amazing dream world i've been living in for the past weeks. 
A world of endless good food, total chaos, new experiences, a new family, and so much beauty it's hard to take it all in. 
It took me a few days to fall in love with the city, maybe because it was so weird being with him again, but when i fell, i fell pretty hard.
Something about this place appeals to me in a way that European cities just don't.
Maybe it's the colors? The weather?
I can't get enough of it, its sights and smells and sounds.

I'll probably never know if this was an amazing idea or the worst ever, and i may end up regretting a bunch when it's all over, as one often does when there are feelings involved, but i never would have gotten to this place if things hadn't happened the way they did, so i'm grateful for the way things turned out.

And that's the very short version of how i ended up in Mexico City!
You never just never know what's next."

This place has good coffee, free wifi, and they sometimes have a cat and a dog, but there's no music, so the mood is a bit awkward

Castillo de Chapultepec has a pretty sweet view 

And the bathrooms are ok too, i guess
But the best part was the squirrels...

I don't wanna post too many pictures from the Frida kahlo Museum, because, you guessed it, i wanna wait for the analog ones, so here's one of me trying to get enough signal to text my mom a photo of the Holy Place

It was magical, though...

I only ate about half of this slightly phallic churro, but it was so damn good

I think i know all the skate parks in Mexico City by now 

This guy was waiting for the bus...

... and possibly keeping an eye out for squirrels!

 "I feel like i'm inside National Geographic!" - thing i actually said while having breakfast at this market in Tepoztlán with the Mexican family... possibly brought on by the fact that there was a tray of fried grasshoppers on my table 

Just an ice cream parlor... no big deal

Him: "Are you ready to go up there?" Me: "Haha, sure!"
He wasn't kidding...

If "Walking Behind Smokers- The Berlin Years" is the title of the Berlin themed chapter in my future autobiography, "Climbing Motherfucking Pyramids With A Hangover" should be the title of the chapter about Mexico...

Looking like we just climbed a mountain, cause we just climbed a mountain

Tepozteco doggie

I bought a small donkey mask kinda like these ones... remind me to show you sometime 
One of the greatest moments of my life: discovering corn with chili, cheese and mayo on a stick

Morombo Cafe in Roma, my daily hangout 

Santeria mall (yes, i bought one, and no, i won't use it on you)

Fresh coconut water

Kinda glad we didn't go to this match, i'm fairly sure i wouldn't have survived an event that featured a Murder Clown, a Psycho Clown, and a Monster Clown

Walked right through an animal market and didn't cry once... i'm getting tougher with age, guys

This was from the National Anthropology Museum, but i think i wanna do a post just for that (and i'll be the only one reading it, the rest of you will be like Zzzzzzz)

Say cheese, guys!

My dream home, right by the park.... that giant window...

A dog saying "don't leave" is the same in any language


  1. As someone who did fly to another continent to meet someone from the internet I can definitely feel you... My situation turned out to be rather sour but it could have ended up great as well. I've met my current bf (for almost 8 years now) online too.

    I've got to "know" you through Allan's work, as you know. He's still one of my favorite artists but I've always kind of looked up to you because you seem like such a cool woman! Also I love girls who love their doggies as much as I love mine haha. Life gives us many obstacles but in the end it's all worth it. I tell this myself all the time so I kind of have to believe it!

    I'm happy you had a great time in Mexico. The photos look like you did! And I hope winter in berlin won't be too harsh this year


    1. Aw, thanks Betty, i'm not used to being kind of looked up to haha :)
      And i think a lot of my readers here originally found my blog through Allan's work or the shop.

      I think you're really brave for traveling to another continent to meet someone, that takes serious guts. And sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don't.
      But you gotta try!
      I did have a great time in Mexico, it was exactly what i needed at this time, even though coming back was hard.

      And yes to the doggie love thing!!

  2. Exciting times, Flora Amalie!

    Well, not the sad stuff. That sucks.

    But you know, the exciting stuff!

    1. Haha, yes, sad stuff sucks, but you gotta go through that sometimes to come out happier. Or something like that :)

      But exciting stuff, like Mexico, very exciting!

  3. My sister and I stayed in Tepoztlan for just under a month and we had an...interesting experience where we found out the day before we left everybody in the town thought we were prostitutes. Turns out 2 blonde girls can't just hang out in the streets every day and talk to boys without stirring up some heinous rumors. So yeah I have um, mixed feelings about that place. Tepozteco is amazing though hey?

    1. Haha, holy shit, i'd have mixed feelings too!
      Wait, i wonder how many people in Roma thinks i'm a whore...?