Saturday, October 4, 2014

Impermanence



Berlin. 
Almost none of my friends are here permanently.
And i'm starting to think that maybe i'm not either? 
Maybe Berlin is a phase we all must go through before we find our real home?
I'm fairly certain that Denmark isn't mine, but I'm starting to accept that this might not be it either. 
So with that in mind, i'm trying not to tie myself down too much. 
Which sounds ridiculous coming from someone currently looking for an apartment and a new place to call home, I know!
But it won't be like it was. 

I moved into the Bunker thinking that i was going to be living here forever, or at least 20 years or more.
Not less that two. 
And now it doesn't even feel remotely like home. Hasn't for a long time.
For this next place, a place that's gonna be just for me, my expectations are more realistic. 
What i'm looking for is a home base, for now. 
In a city that feels a lot like home. For now.
Sure, I'll invest in it and make it cosy as hell, but now i know it won't be forever. 
Who knows how i'll feel when the people who have become my best friends decide it's time to move back home?
Maybe Berlin will lose some of its charm when i don't have the people closest to me to share it with anymore.
Much like homes, friendships aren't necessarily a permanent thing. 
That's what growing older teaches you.

I know this may come off as a sad post, but it's really not.
Self indulgent and a bit naive, perhaps, but not sad!
If anything, it's about realizing that the world is full of possibilities.
It's about living in the now, and being curious about the future.
I have no idea where i'm gonna be in five years, or one for that matter, and that's kind of beautiful.
And a first for me.

I know i haven't done a lot of writing since The Break-Up, and that's been hard for me.
Holding back is not in my nature.
But shit is complicated, and airing your dirty laundry on the internet is just never really a good idea.
That being said, i hope to be able to open up and share more in the near future.

Here are some pictures from the last couple of months of apartment hunting.
I haven't had any luck yet, but i have gotten to explore some cool neighborhoods, gone on lots of long bike rides, and gotten a look inside some really interesting buildings, and i'm hopeful that something awesome will come my way soon.
If not, i guess i'll emigrate. Worked last time!



One of the first apartments i looked at was so dreamy and way too expensive

Post apartment viewing okonomiyaki at Neues Heimat

Awesome market... i should go back there soon

This place was (obviously) still being renovated

This is a problem in Berlin, actually; they take beautiful old apartments and renovate them until they've lost all their original charm

When looking at apartments in Neukölln, i have coffee at Roamers

A rare and wonderful not renovated apartment in Friedrichshain that i wanted badly

I was gonna paint the floors

When looking at apartments in Friedrichshain, i have coffee at Silo

After coffee photobooth fun with Jessica's kitten sleep mask 

The best part of this place was the amazing hallway 

The apartment was great too, but we weren't allowed to take pictures cause people still lived there

Nice neighborhood, but close to the dreaded and kind of useless brown line...

Oh, how i loved this one, but it had hidden expenses and ended up being just a bit outside of my budget

Pretty pink hallway

I dressed up for this viewing...

... and ended up matching one of the apartments 

Again, Roamers... i need to live near this place

6 comments:

  1. Preach ! og du har ret......Det er smukt at kunne leve i nuet, glæde sig over fremtiden og opdage at hele verden kan være sit hjem :)

    "The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." - Maya Angelou

    Jeg stemmer på at man skal prøve at flytte til et nyt land mindst 5 gange i sit liv :) (challenge accepted.....)

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  2. Sometimes we just have to go with life's little nudges. Hoping that this wind of change blows you over to this side of the world again but glad to see you taking these unplanned changes in your stride like the awesome person we all know you are! Keep on keeping on! xxx

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  3. Hi F.A. I definitely need to get in touch with you (again) this winter if I make the move (depends on the work situation) to Berlin from Tokyo, well, that's the plan anyways. I will do as I did last time when I made 3 year long relocation to Thailand i.e.go first and set up stuff then bring my wife. Then either sell or rent out our place here in the big city. You are the Queen of Berlin apartment hunting knowledge and I might need any help I can get. Like you said, it's feels pretty good to take one day at a time and never really tie yourself down too firm in one place and with one mindset. Shit changes, less is more.

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  4. Frankly I'm a little jealous of all the unknowns in your future. You could end up ANYWHERE doing ANYTHING!

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  5. Åh, jeg kender det kun alt for godt. Det er det, der er både magisk og mega hårdt ved Berlin; at folk forsvinder. Det gør, at man jævnligt skal gå igennem hårde perioder og en masse savn, men selvfølgelig også, at man får lov til at lære nye skønne mennesker at kende hele tiden... Jeg kunne som bekendt ikke klare det. Men synes, det er mega fedt, at nogen kan. Håber, du finder ud af, hvad du gerne vil. Ser ud til, at du i mellemtiden har besøgt nogle virkelig vilde steder! Alt godt fra Kbh.

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  6. This resonates pretty strongly with me at the moment. Recognizing (30-something years into my life) the impermanence of essentially everything, and trying to approach change as something beautiful, exciting and often crucial...as opposed to an anxiety-laced experience (which it needn't be at all). You're inspiring btw. Love your photography & browsing through your blog is a treat (even if it has made me want to consume inordinate amounts of onigiri and okonomiyaki at the randomest hours :) )

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