I like the opposite of that; having a day that's so good you wanna share.
I'm not sure what's particularly good about today, really.
I woke up early, had weird dreams, went back to sleep and overslept, didn't work out or do any of the things i'd planned, but somewhere along the way, my grumpiness turned to gratitude.
I like that, especially on days where you actually have plenty to bitch about.
With few exceptions*, i've been really happy since coming back from Denmark.
I think i needed a week of doing very little, and i think both me and Allan came back with more energy, and the urge to get back into doing housework and building stuff again.
Before we went to Denmark i had a few weeks of bad really anxiety, and although i now know they come in waves, waves that pass, it's still freaky as hell.
I think maybe part of me being happier, and this is just a guess, comes from the realization that i actually love Berlin.
Cause for a while i wasn't sure.
I knew i liked it here, liked it enough to stay forever probably, but i wasn't sure if i just loved our little kingdom, or all of it.
It wouldn't have made a difference to me, i don't want to go back to Denmark, and i can't see myself ever living in Copenhagen again, but i was still happy to discover that it is in fact love, this thing between me and Berlin.
I wanna get to know this city better, go explore, find my own favorite spots.
This could take years, and i'm ok with that.
I never would have thought just a few years ago that this would be my life.
Not just following my dreams, but allowing myself to even have dreams.
That's new for me.
Sometimes i wish my old therapist was reading my blog!
I know it sounds stupid, but i almost feel like he's the only one who understand how big of a deal this all is.
You may have noticed that i'm not blogging a lot these days, but it's not because i don't want to, it's just that i've started on some new projects, chapters, whatever, and that, combined with my work at the shop and my need to explore and enjoy the last bit of my first summer in Berlin, doesn't leave much time for the blog.
Also, i haven't gotten those negatives looked at, and you know i prefer to post analog pictures.
But that's not happening today, these are all iPhone, baby!
With captions too. Old school untitled blog style!
Well, that sure wasn't the most coherent thing i'v ever written, but as with the photos, sometimes you just need to post something, anything, right?
Fireescalpony is doing great, but that sunflower never came out of its shell
Lucifer in his new kitchen bed
Five Elephant in Kreuzberg
Me and my shitty hair on the terrace on a hot day
Me and my slightly better, new hair on the stairs the other day
I love Schöneberg
Who says pigeons are stupid? Larson was smart enough to find my secret bird seed stash and break into it... sneaky, sneaky bird
Random morning at Double Eye
My garden is looking good these days; carrots, possibly zucchinis, maybe potatoes, lost of tomatoes on the way, and yesterday i found a few peas
Last Saturday we went to a Vegetarian festival, and that turned into a sightseeing day.. i think that was the first day of fall, but summer is back today it seems
My rescue cactus, i'm so proud of saving this guy
Tuesday was a good day... we celebrated that it had been 9 months since we moved into the house... oh, and 12 years since we'd gotten married! love this guy!
Time for another oak-speriment?
Our mini vacation starts tomorrow, and i can't wait.
An extended weekend dedicated to sightseeing, housework, decorating, paining (both walls and art, hopefully!), eating good food, and maybe some more blogging too.
And most importantly, spending time with my favorite human and animal companions.
*We've been having some issues with crazy neighbors and unwanted visitors, and that shook me up pretty bad, but i think the worst is over... maybe some day i'll give you the whole story, it's pretty nuts!