Monday, September 7, 2009

I just don't get it

I don't know if you know this about me, but i'm a bit of a gossip junkie.
It's not something i like to brag about, i'm actually very much against idolizing people and stalking them to sell magazines, but i've just always loved Hollywood, movies and television, and reading about the people behind all this is just interesting to me, i can't help it.

So i figure that since i'm generally a nice person who donate money to charity, recycle my bottles and take the bike to work, and lead a pretty clean life of no smoking, drinking, drugs and only the occasional ice cream, i'm allowed this weakness.
Ok, there are probably more, but lets not get into that right now.

Anyway, reading Hollywood gossip blogs often makes me wonder why celebrities have such horrible fucking tattoos.
Ever wondered about that?
I guess people who aren't geeks about tattoos don't notice much, but i sure do and it puzzles me.

Being a really, really famous person usually comes with quite a bit of money.
And money makes people get expensive habits.
So when celebrities go shopping they buy Chanel dresses, Louboutin shoes, Creme de la Mer eye cream and Hermes bags.
And when their boobs need a lift or their wrinkles need a filler they go to the most expensive surgeons in Beverly Hills.
But when they need a new tattoo, do they go to the best and most respected artists in the world?
No, they go down to Sketchy McScratcher on Sunset Boulevard at three in the morning and get some shit like this:

It seems like the trend among the Hollywood crowd is really small, shitty tattoos.
Maybe they think that because the tattoos are small it somehow makes them more feminine?
Whatever their reason, there's really no excuse to get bad tattoos anymore.

All over the world, almost anywhere in the world, you can find a nice, clean studio with talented artists ready to draw up whatever crazy design your brain can come up with.
And since we got this interwebs thingie, finding those artists has never been easier.
Every week at our studio we have clients from other countries, who are willing to travel great distances, and wait many months, to get their dream tattoo done by the right artist.
And don't tell me that our clients have more money than, say, Angelina Jolie.

This lady even has her own plane for christ sake, and this is the best she could do?
Yeah, it's that bad
Her creepy lookalike has some pretty bad ones too...

Now, i'm not saying that the whole world should all get big, colorful custom work like i do, or like the same things that i like.
I'm not against a well made flash piece, or a silly souvenir tattoo, and i think black and grey tattoos are beautiful when they're done right.
I'm not a style nazi and i think everyone should get what they feel suits them and what they feel good about.
I just don't understand why people who obviously have the opportunity and the means don't want the best tattoos possible?

Peaches Geldof apparently has 20 tattoos... like it said on this one blog that had pictures of them: "When was she in prison?"

One might wonder if they ever wake up and smell the bad art and regret their decisions?
Apparently the answer to that is "yes".
I read the other day that Kelly Osbourne hates all of her tattoos because she got most of them done while she was drunk and now this is her message to the kids thinking of getting a tattoo:
“Don’t get tattoos, please, because you hate them when you get older. I hate them.”

Or you could tell kids to, you know, don't get tattooed while drunk or wasted on Vicodin?
Or to not get stupid tattoos?

But i guess i'd be bitter too if i'd ever woken up to find baby pink wings on my back


  1. OMG I sooo agree! WTF is it with celebs and having shit ass tattoo work done? Like I get that most really good tattoo artists are booked far in advance and wont do a spur of the moment tattoo on a drunk person BUT I wouldnt think those rules applied to celebs. I bet a drunk celeb could find a good artist even at 3AM, thow enough money at the artist and they would put them at the top of the wait list. There are a couple celebs who have some nice ink...I cant think who...but I know I have thought it to myself, before.

  2. I can't think of anyone either right now...
    Right now i can only think of people who are cool enough to get away with having shitty tattoos, like Johnny Depp for instance.
    They looks like shit, but it somehow works on him!
    But that's not really the same.

    Let me know if you think of someone!

  3. My favorite is the photo of Angelia Jolie getting tattooed by a dude with NO GLOVES!! She's so loaded she owns her own plane and can't even find a guy with gloves?? Forget how bad the tattoos look!!! Her excuse is that he's from a poor country and she wanted it to be authentic. They got gloves at the corner store that you could buy on your way to the plane... then you can give them to him so you don't get a nice authentic case of Hep C!

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  6. We will all laugh at gilded butterflies?!! What does that even mean?! Hvor creepy.
    Det er sgu sjældent at god smag og truckloads of penge følges ad. Hvis man synes, botox og pumpede bryster er pænt nok til at bruge kassen på det, så undrer det mig ikke så meget, at man ikke har æstetisk sans nok til at få sig en smuk tatovering.

  7. Haha I agree with everything you wrote. I always wonder why celebrities get such horrible tattoos. And I don't know any celebrity with a good tattoo! It's kinda sad cause they definitely ruin the reputation of tattooed people.

  8. Nice post, I have for the longest time been wondering this my self. NAd you are right on Johnny depp it works for some weird reason.

  9. I agree have you seen that girl Hayden Something with big letters tattoed on her side, something in italian, misspelled! I laughed, not very nice but if you can't bother to get it right on the paper you gives to the artist you should have it! =)

  10. Som en fantastisk kvinde engang sagde, "It took a lot of money to look this cheap".
    Oh hellz yeah.

  11. Er det fetaost Britney har fået lavet på håndleddet? I sooooo wants!!!

  12. Oh, Amalie, fucking Britney has the worst fashion sense to begin with. Why would she be able to get good tattoos!?!

    How about David Beckham, huh?

    I think it just goes to show that they need stylists for tattoos just like they hire stylists to get themselves dressed because they have bad taste.

  13. hah! that thought has crossed my mind like a million times!

  14. I'm as old as Kelly Osbourne and I don't hate any of my tattoos.
    Why do people say that? Yeah because they got really shitty and ugly ones when they were young and/or drunk.
    Sure I have the heartagram I got when I was 18 and the huge ass black star on my back that I got at the same time (mostly because I could get tattooed).
    I'm not proud of them, but I don't regret them.
    Also I have gotten nicer tattoos since ;)

    But I think about the same when I see celebrities and their awful tattoos. They have money, they can go to a great artist. Why do they go to some really shitty one?
    Even some people with not so much money go to shitty ones. The price would be about the same for that tribal tramp stamp they got if they went to a good artist (yeah, I am amazed too that some good artist actually still do them. guess they just think "Hey, ok. it's money.")

    I have been commenting on here before but in swedish and not thinking about if that was ok or not. Is it ok if I keep commenting in Swedish or would you rather want me to comment in English?

  15. Stina, i've seen that picture too, sooo gross, and i bet that's their reasoning exactly; it must be authentic.
    And gloves and hygiene will somehow ruin that authentic experience? Bullshit.

    Sandy, yeah i did see her tattoo, and i think it's ok to laugh.
    The bad part is that people like to blame the tattooer for the spelling mistakes, but it's not really their job to spell check tattoos.
    Allan isn't the best speller and he doesn't even see words in a tattoo, he just sees them as part of a drawing and ask people to double and triple check themselves for that same reason.

    Fetaost fo life, Helle, dig og mig i butikken om 5 minutter!!

    Ai, i totally agree about Britney and Beckham, but with tattoos it's so much more than just a matter of bad taste.
    A tacky dress at least can't give you Hepatitis or scar your skin for life.
    But tattoo stylists for those people might be a good idea, actually you probably just predicted a future job description in Hollywood!!

    Elisabeth, i know so many people who have less than great tattoos that they're just as happy with as their good tattoos, just cause the memories attached to them are positive.
    Just cause she got all hers for all the wrong reasons doesn't mean that other young people can't make good decisions.

    (And i understand the comments in Swedish, but other readers won't so i think english is the best, if it's all the same to you!)

  16. oh dear, silly rich ladies!

    i'm poor as hell, but i still go to awesome artists when i can, like Eckel and your dear husband (as soon as I can!!!)


  17. oh and Tanya, if you see this, make your blog public! You always post such interesting comments, I'd love to read your blog!

    (sorry to hijack your comments for my own devices Amalie x)

  18. hehehehe blushing :) Thanks Samboy...I did start a blog and got all of two posts into it before I decided I wasnt really that into the whole blogging thing. So I kinda abandoned the whole thing. Lately I have been toying with the idea of changing the format and just making it more like a personal diary about me, my thoughts and what I am into. Soooo long answer to short comment....I dont really have a blog at this time. Thought that might change in teh near future. Thanks for asking!!!

  19. No need for apologies, the comment section belongs to you guys!

    And i agree, Tanya should have a blog!

  20. agree with this post beyond words.
    mediocrity is really boring and sad.
    especially when you get it permanently placed on your flesh.

  21. Angelina Jolie's shitty tattoo or either latitude and longitude, or a "Degrees, minutes, seconds" measurements...the tattoo is a cover up...seriously, look at her other tattoos they are AMAZINGLY detailed. This have laser removal of one and this is what is over it, and honestly its done fairly well for how unevenly it would have to heal because of the damaged skin.

  22. I know that tattoo is a cover up, but that really doesn't make any difference.
    I've seen many tattoos in places that have had laser removal and it's entirely possible to make a clean tattoo.
    So that's not an excuse for a shitty tattoo.

    The tattoo that was lasered and covered was, in my opinion, terrible as well, as are all of her other tattoos.
    I think i've seen them all, but maybe i missed the one that's "amazingly detailed"?
    Or maybe you and i just have very different opinions as to what an amazingly detailed tattoo is.

    That being said, this is my blog and my views, and i'm not trying to force neither you or Angelina to agree with me.