Monday, March 16, 2009

Life seemed easier yesterday

You may or may not have noticed this, but i rarely post anything really personal here on the blog.
Not that any of the things i do post here aren't honest or me, i just try not to overshare, if you know what i mean.
In general i don't really post about politics, current events, the state of the planet, things like that.
That's not because i don't have an opinion on the subjects, in fact i'm very interested in news and politics, and i have a strong opinion about pretty much everything, including the things i know nothing about.
The reason i try not to post anything too serious, is that i want this blog to be a relaxing, positive and hopefully entertaining read.
We're all bombarded with enough negative crap as it is, right?

But today has been kind of a crappy day for me, and i feel like sharing.
That may be a bad idea, but whatever.

This morning (actually at noon, but that's still morning to me) i had a doctors appointment.
Not my regular guy, a specialist.
I'd been there not too long ago, getting a tissue sample done.
So today i went in for the results.

They weren't bad, in the sense that i don't have cancer, and that's always a good thing.
But they weren't good either, meaning i need surgery.
Lucky for me it wasn't super urgent, so i can still go to Japan, but sometime after i get back i'm gonna have to go to the hospital for about three or four days.

This isn't the upsetting part.
I'm not afraid of hospitals or surgery.
I don't enjoy either one, but they're not something i worry about.
What really bothers me is where they place the incision in this procedure.
It's not gonna be pretty.
I'm not a great healer and even the smallest cut leaves a scar on me.
Last time i had surgery i even quit smoking, so i would heal better (and i loved smoking!), but i didn't.
I don't wanna subject you to the gory details, but lets just say that if i ever consider starting a new career as a pirate, i'm in luck!

I sound so terribly vain, and i'm really not, at least no more than most people, but having a big, visible scar has just never been part of the plan, you know?
I have enough health and cosmetic problems, and stupid insecurities, i don't need this crap too.

Sorry for the pity-me rant, i swear it's done and i won't talk about it again.
At least until i actually have to go in for the surgery.
I wonder if the hospital has wi-fi?

The end this shitfest of a post on a lighter note, i give you "Kitten-in-a-japanese-teapot"!

9 comments:

  1. I went through something similar a little while ago. Not cancer but I still needed surgery.

    Waiting for the result of my tissue sample was one of the worst parts.

    I hope everything goes well. :)

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  2. Thanks a lot, i hope so too.

    I've tried it before (just a different bodypart, but same thing) so i knew what to expect this time.

    But it still friggin sucks!

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  3. aww i'm sure you'll be fine!

    i had to have a lump removed and tested, and its on my neck. I heal terribly, but my scar isnt that noticeable now, it actually healed pretty well!

    its scary, but when you get scared, blog about it! we'll all cheer you up and reassure you! :) xxx

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  4. That's sweet, thanks!
    Knowing that a fellow bad healer somehow healed well actually helps a lot.

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  5. I'm sure you will and you are, but I hope you will talk to your doctor about your post-operative concerns, too, and feel a little less bad about it. I wish you good luck. Remember that you are still young enough to heal well! (You have gorgeous well-healed tattoos if you ask me.) My tongue's been healing little by little. It really is a let's-take-it-one-day-at-a-time thing.

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  6. Sikke noget lort, mand. Altså, selvfølgelig virkelig godt, du ikke har kræft(!), men stadig lidt noget lort!
    Det er sgu også åndssvagt at det er nødvendigt at bekymre sig om sådan noget. Om ikke andet kan du jo sige altid finde på historier om hvor bad-ass du er og hvor mange røvhuller du har nakket, men så var der lige en der ramte dig i en super vild fight, så der ikke er nogen, der fucker med dig! (ikke at du ikke er bad-ass nu, det synes jeg du er - mand, jeg ville aldrig fronte!)

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  7. One of the supervisors where I work recently had some skin cancer removed from her face. I was asking her a question about something and her hand shot up to the bandage on her face and stayed there. I was kind of confused, and asked if she was ok. She had tears in her eyes and she said, "I'm sorry, I'm just so self-conscious". Isn't that sad? It broke my heart. But because I saw her feeling so down, I can only imagine what you're going through. Best luck to you, little dumpling, try to stay positive!

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  8. Let me cut & sew you!

    No, I hope it will do well, just i hope the dont mess with the art on you and if they do, its just to g et anrtist to redo it. But hey, i have no clue where the knife is going. I have inked of a lot of scars, and it gives a nice 3 d to it all,,,ho ho ho

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  9. Wow, that was uhm... incredibly gross and insensitive!
    Please don't comment here again, scary person.

    (Not you, Coralene, your comment was nice!)

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