Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Anywhere but here

Don't you just hate it when monday falls on a wednesday?
Seriously, i just wanna bury myself under a million blankets and not come out until spring.

I am having the worst day.
And it's not even anybody else's fault.
It's all on me, and that makes it even worse.
Well, the weather today isn't helping, it could make even the happiest person suicidal.
It's raining, but it's a really light rain, the kind that makes everything grey, and makes the air seem like it's made of water.

So the day had started out ok.
I did my morning workout to Madonna's Material Girl and Into the Groove.
I work out to something different every morning, just to keep things interesting.
But as soon as i left the house my mood went sour.
I had gotten almost all the way down to the lakes when a thought popped into my brain.
"Did i turn off the coffee machine?"
Yeah, it's a fuckin' classic, i know.
But i have actually forgotten to turn it off before, so i wasn't just ocd'ing.
So, i had to go back. I had to.

Of course i had turned it off, maybe because the washing machine was on i got it mixed up?
Who knows.
So i grabbed Lucifer, went back outside, got on my bike and left again.

I wasn't at the exact same spot when i realized my bag wasn't with me, but it was pretty close.
For a second i thought i had dropped it, but then i remembered.
It was on the couch in the workroom where i had dropped it when i went to check the coffee machine.
I couldn't believe it.
I wanted to go back and get it, but i just couldn't.
I knew if i went back inside i wouldn't make it to work today.

So i went to work without my bag, full of stuff i need.
And of course my retarded brain is still thinking, "could i have dropped it?" and wants to go back and check if it is indeed on the couch.
I fuckin' hate my brain.
Useless piece of crap.

I am going to do a load of tubes, eat some leftovers from last nights dinner (we ate at the shop cause Allan was working very late) and then i'm going back home.
Where it's safe.

You know what else is pissing me off?
Something a friend said to me the other day is stuck in my head and i wanna talk to him about it, but i'm too angry to talk to anyone and my phone is at home.
And i don't even think it's a big deal, but my before mentioned stupid brain is obsessing over it.

Ok, i'm gonna take my venomous mood somewhere else, the blog deserves better.

Allan is doing a sloth tattoo today, maybe that'll cheer me up?

3 comments:

  1. as a writer, that first line can't be beat. as a friend, i'm sending you a show that *may* make you laugh and help you with your mood. it is all about the ridiculousness of how we make choices. i'm in love with it. love, zo http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/episodes/2008/11/14

    click "listen to the whole show"

    <3 and ps.. i love your butterfly belt.

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  2. how can you not smile at the grinning super cute sloth face??

    'oh hi!'

    feel better!!

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  3. awww i had an awful day like that yesterday. but i have to say, yours sounds worse than mine!

    but awww sloths! they are the happiest little creatures! check out the one on my myspace profile!

    xxx

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