Monday, April 13, 2015

Love hate thing

You know i love Berlin.
I love it. I talk about how much i love it all the time.
How great it is to live here, how wonderful my friends are.
I love it, i do.
But sometimes... Sometimes i really fucking hate it.
Hate living somewhere where i'm helpless when things aren't working.
Where i don't really speak the language, or fully understand how things work... and don't work.
I've had to deal with some absolutely ridiculous people and situations lately, and i've had to do a lot of it on my own.
I'm embarrassed to admit i've cried actual tears of frustration.

These recent events are also the reason why i haven't blogged lately.
No internet. No wifi for almost two weeks.
No way to transfer money, or work on projects, or print out plane tickets, look shit up, get directions... or check instagram.
So basically a nightmare of partially loaded pictures, and friends referencing links we weren't able to open!
And lots of dumb excuses from the company we've been paying good money to for over a month.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg of bullshit... but i won't get into that, cause it's boring.
But hopefully it at least explains why i haven't been around!

I'm going traveling again in a few days, and i pretty much just wanted to post this so i wouldn't be too far behind, so i'm sorry if it's a bit dull.
The last few weeks have been great if you're not counting all the bureaucratic awfulness.
Last weekend i partied, a lot, and even went on a date for the first time in months, and this weekend was all about chilled out friend hangs in parks and by canals.
Love it here. Must not forget that. 
Love it.

This morning i had a dream that was super scary and vivid, and for some reason reminded me of a scene in a Douglas Coupland novel, so i wrote it down right away.
And since i haven't done any weird journal posting in a while, i'm gonna post it here.
That's right, i'm dream journaling on the blog!
Because why not.

"I'm standing in a living room with my parents. 
Not our actual living room, but an open kitchen type apartment with huge windows.
We're talking about growing carrots. 
The room is dark, and the carrot growing is apparently going well. 
I look out the window and I quietly say "No. No no no no no no no no". 
Over and over again. My parents get up and that's when they see it too. 
The mushroom cloud. 
An angry, red mushroom cloud.
It's actually happening. 
The sky is dark and debris start flying. 
Lucifer is panicking, crawling up my leg and I pick him up. 
It's a fiery orange now, and it's much more terrifying than I could have ever imagined. 
"Should we run?" I ask them. 
They don't know. They're as paralyzed by fear and helplessness as I am. 
I turn on the tv and we see the epicenter. Some middle eastern city who's name I don't recognize. 
The screen looks like the map you see while on an airplane between destinations.
It flickers. 
I actually think about what to write on twitter and facebook, knowing it will be my goodbye. 
Not only to my friends and relatives, but to the world and life as we all know it. 
I write nothing."

And on that gloomy ass note, here are some pictures from the life of me and my gang in Berlin.

 Coffee on our friend Randy's last day in Berlin

Morning view

Lucifer and my new plant shelf

No love like poopy dog breathy love

All day hangout with the faves

Oh the stuff they have at Voo Store... and coffee too!

Box was with us, and Box was bored

Lucifer in his man cave

About a week ago in Kreuzberg when it rained and snowed, while the sun was shining

Sneak peek at my new tattoo that Wendy did last week... more pictures of that in my next post

I went art supply shopping and didn't even bring anything back for the dog... how rude of me!

This night turned kinda crazy... allegedly... i personally don't remember that much!

Flea market in the hood is pretty crappy, but it's close to my house and i'm definitely going back there at some point

We kinda turned the dining table into an art table, and it's actually done wonders for our productivity, so maybe you really aren't supposed to work and sleep in the same room?

Walking the dog on a bad day

Jess moved in, and i immediately stole her pimpin Margo Tennenbaum coat

Nap time with my buddy

Pizza night last week was cheesy and delicious

Wendy decorated the hallway, and it made such a difference

Pizza night, drawing night, study night, all in one

Walking through Schöneberg 

Sitting outside drinking coffee sure as hell beats sitting inside drinking coffee

We sat in this weird tent like chair bed thingie and enjoyed the sun, while planning a Spice Girls themed costume birthday party

And then we took classy bathroom selfies!

New York t-shirt dress, in honor of our upcoming trip

That time we had a girl night and one Wendy did the other Wendy's hair, and it turned out great

And then she did mine... it's even lighter than it looks here, and i'm still getting used to it!

Pretty yard on an ugly street

Pizza by the canal, because it's finally (occasionally) warm enough

Lucifer had to stay on his leash and he wasn't amused

Next day we had an actual picnic at Victoria Park
I made onigiri, the other girls made amazing salads and brownies

Still cold, but we fucking did it anyway and it was great!

On top of the world (or at least Kreuzberg)

Lucifer got picked up today, and i miss him already

Hey guys!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015


The weather in Berlin has been absolutely ridiculous for the last couple of days.
You're damn right i'm blogging about the weather!
Shit is that bad.
I am currently sitting in my cozy room, drawing and freezing my ass off, while it snows, hails, and rains outside.
On April first.

I wouldn't mind being back in Maui today.
Come to think of it, i can't seem to recall why i even left in the first place!

Here are some analog shots of beaches, cemeteries, a crab i watched dig a hole for like an hour, the town of Paia, mountains, and of course palm trees.

You know those flowers i planted on the balcony the other day?
They don't seem to like hurricane type winds much.

Too soon, Flora Amalie, too soon.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Get happy

That picture?
I wish that was me today, but i'm afraid i'm pretty far from that level of happy at the moment.
Maybe it's still the stress of moving that's affecting me, or maybe it's the winter like weather we've been having, but i am just... stuck.
Every day feels like trying to dig my way out of a deep hole and find something to live for.
I'm sure most of you know exactly what i'm talking about.

Things are good, though.
I shouldn't complain.
On Sunday we finally finished the last room in our apartment, just in time for another friend to move in and call it her temporary home.
Unfortunately getting the room ready meant clearing out something like 20 kg of wood, dust, rocks and rubble from the basement, just so we had a place to put our stuff.
It took a while, and we probably have some kind of lung cancer brewing, but at least we got it done, and it feels great to only have minor projects left.

Ok, enough writing, i have homework to do, and a dog to walk.
I think i just needed to accomplish something today.
Even the smallest thing, like posting on my blog, just so i don't feel like a massive loser.

Here are some pictures from our housewarming party a little over a week ago, and some randoms from the days up to and after.
The nicer photos are taken by my amazing friend Wendy, who by the way has an awesome blog that you should read... just sayin.

I'll be back soon, probably with some more Hawaii pictures, since that appears to be the only way to get some damn sun around here!

Apart from a few minor details, the living room is done

Damn right i wore Buffalo's to our housewarming party


Wendy and Randy made an awesome photo wall

Perfect for portraits 

And group photos

My room

Buying flowers for the balcony

Before planting

And after... i love the evening light here

Added this to my questionable crop top collection... gotta love Primark

Last week we finally got the locks changed so we could use our actual front door, and have more than one set of keys

Damn fine cocktail at Industry Standard

Housewarming presents 

More like "spirit of overpriced cacti"

Coming home late, i sometimes have the station all to myself

Reading in the living room is pretty great

Rough morning and glitter nails